The beginners guide to shearing in England and Wales……

A happy shearer.......A happy wool roller :-)...


The leader sheep looking over the flock... a pivotal roll.Just a wee one...

A two lane road... yeah right!!!



1. Tell all the locals that you are from New Zealand and they will give you shearing work assuming that all New Zealander's know how to work in the shearing shed whether this be the case or not (not in my case).
2. Tell all the locals that you are related to the ‘old kiwi guy and his daughter’ (Phillip and Emily) and they will be impressed (locals have a long memory).
Note: Telling even one local something means that it will spread through England like wild fire so be wary of what you tell them!
3. The night before the shearing job you will get a call from a mystery person at the other end of the phone telling you a specific time that they will come around to pick you up in the morning.
Note: If someone informs you of the farm that you will be shearing on please don’t take this as fact… by the next morning the job will have changed about three times…its an intricate and mysterious set up for arranging work.
4. Wake up the next morning and get ready for the prior arranged pick up time…wait…wait…wait and between half an hour and 4 hours later that someone will arrive.
5. Now you must drive up, down, through, across, over, under and along hundreds of country lanes with no sign posting and little to no view of where you are due to the tall thick hedging (called hedge rows) one either side of all lanes…. And finally (somehow) arrive at the farm where you are supposed to be.
Note: These lanes are very deceiving to the eye. What a regular kiwi would consider to be a one lane driveway is actually a two way road! When a car comes from the other direction both party’s simply drive into the thick hedges on either side of the lane… all very simple really!
Note No2: The drivers, knowing you are kiwis are very willing to point out local attractions by simply stating “back there was a castle, but you can’t see it because of that hedge.”
6. When you arrive at the farm the farmers will come up to you and introduce themselves and then state that “I guess I had better get in my sheep then.”
Note: Sheep are NEVER to be rounded up before the shearing gang arrives (God only knows why).
7. Farmers then proceed to try to convince their (lazy and useless) farm dogs (who don’t know a sheep from a lump of coal) to round up the sheep (and lambs and what ever else happens to be in the paddock) into to an orderly cue for them to be brought into the make shift pens. Eventually the farmer must give up on the dog and try to round them in himself, also with little success and so the shearing gang, farmer’s wife, child, cat, rat, and every other able (and not able) body alike must join in the chase. Finlay after a few hairy moments (when one or two of the sheep break rank and someone must spear tackle them into order) the sheep are contained!!!
8. Now is the time for everyone to set up. The shearers dump their shearing trailer down while the farmer uses old fences, plastic, tractors, children, and anything else that they see fit to create a race for the sheep to get from the pen into the shearing trailer.
Note: Do not at any stage suggest or even think of suggesting a ‘new and improved’ way of doing this. This technique has been perfected for over 100 years and is not about to be changed any time soon, just like the trailer tyres (on the trailer used at Dunkirk) that have not had new air in them since the early 1950’s.
9. The shearing is now ready to happen and so after all that strenuous work everyone sits down for a well deserved cup of tea.
Note: NEVER get between a shearer and tea, this would result in some pretty dire consequences for both parties involved.
10a. The shearers begin their work with wool flying, machines rattling, sheep baaing, dogs barking, farmers yelling... ahhh the serenity.
10b. At the same time the wool rollers consisting of either old men or farmers wives (and Sharon) start the most thrilling job in all the world. I would recommend anyone leave their own well paid job just to do because of the sheer joy one gets from a hard days work and little pay… Ok so I don’t really enjoy this job so much. However it is made bearable by the fact that the other workers are usually very good to chat to, even if coming from NZ one finds it very hard to understand what exactly they are telling you due to a rather thick accent. But if you nod and smile (especially if you are a young girl and they are old men) and feign understanding they may slip you 20quid for the pleasure of your company ;).
11. Stop for a cup of tea.
Note: Shearers never just have one cup, only allowing one cup would be an insult.
12. Shearing and wool rolling.
13. Stop for a cup of tea and lunch.
14. Shearing and wool rolling.
15. Stop for a cup of tea.
16. Last session of searing and wool rolling.
Note: If shearers hit the 99 sheep mark at the end of shearing they must be the one to buy drinks at the pub afterwards. So the cunning old hands keep an eye out and try to play the whole last session so some poor shearer must spend all his hard earned cash on the others!
17. End of shearing and the farmer brings out beers and local cider, both of which are consumed whilst talking about all and nothing for a long period of time.
18. The whole set up must now be packed down, but can be done whilst polishing off another beer.
19. The farmer pays the troop, if you have a good farmer, if not then the next few months the main shearer must try to almost trick he farmer into paying.
Note: In this part of the world they say that the second type of farmer is typical of a Scotsman (I will leave you to be the judge as I have never worked for a Scotsman).
20. This could go one of two ways the first being the main shearer decides to head on to shear another farm.
Note: When considering this they don’t seem to account for time (one night we started shearing a second lot at 7pm!).
The second being that the shearers decide to head home and ‘accidentally’ pull into a pub on the way home deciding to forget the fact they have a wife and children at home. A few beers and a lot of chatting later one finally heads home.
21. Eat the dinner left in the oven (if your lucky) as by now it is around 10pm.
22. Have a shower.
23. Fall to sleep watching sport (or some other ‘manly’ thing) on the television.
24. Last cup of tea for the day.
25. Head to bed.
26. Begin the process all over again.